greatfountain | [dumbassery] nagajun and chest manes. yeah. (Reply)

THIS ALMOST GOT ME KICKED OUT OF THE LIBRARY THIS LAST WEEK. JUST SAYING.

chelshock: then the puppy pees on jun`s favorite rug and all thoughts of babies goes away

greatfountain: as nagase is too busy running away and putting the puppy in the sidecar of his motorcycle to hide out at koichi's XD

chelshock: omg they`re on the run!

chelshock: that... is so precious

chelshock: the puppy has its own little helmet and riding scarf

greatfountain: omg yes yes yes

greatfountain: so cute

chelshock: and jun just stands in the doorway, scrubbing at the rug and telling him to be back home for dinner

greatfountain: finally they ~sneak in~ and the house is dark and then jun just flicks the light on from where he's sitting on the couch XD "dinner's wrapped up in the fridge~"

chelshock: ahaha omg TERRIFYING

greatfountain: nagase is so shaken up HE almost pees on the rug XD

chelshock: AHAHAHAHAHA and he feels the need to tell jun that.

greatfountain: and jun's just like 'YOU HAD BETTER DO IT ON TILE'

chelshock: jun shrugs, takes the puppy, and tells nagase to eat his dinner. every last bite (because the poison is slow-acting)

greatfountain: XDDDDDDDD

greatfountain: sadly the poison doesn't do much besides give nagase stomach cramps and jun ends up taking care of him all of the next day XD

chelshock: aw it was probably jun`s plan all along

chelshock: (the poison is really ex-lax)

greatfountain: probably! family snuggles with the puppy in bed all day (besides nagase having to run to the bathroom and back)

chelshock: ahhhhh there`s the cute <

greatfountain: :

chelshock: jun feels a little bad, but not bad enough to move from his spot on the bed whenever nagase runs to the bathroom.

greatfountain: yeah, nagase leaves a nice warm spot behind, too

chelshock: that jun and the puppy promptly steal

greatfountain: so nagase ends up making a NEW warm spot in the lull between bathroom breaks and the roll into that, and the cycle continues!

chelshock: it`s a beautiful cycle! eventually the whole bed`s toasty~

greatfountain: eventually is gets TOO warm and they have to send the puppy to the puppy bed, but only after jun makes absolutely sure sex isn't going to be interrupted by awkward stomach pains.

chelshock: because really, that`s only going to irritate him.

greatfountain: and that's the LAST thing nagase wants

chelshock: nagase can`t help it! but when jun`s ~in the mood~ nothing should interrupt him!

chelshock: ahaha exactly. who knows what jun`s planning next?

greatfountain: chest hair shaving?

greatfountain: except he likes the chest hair so that's a lie

chelshock: (JUN`S NAME SHAVED INTO THE CHEST HAIR

chelshock: or just a big J

chelshock: like superman

greatfountain: HE DOES IT RIGHT BEFORE THE ANAN SHOOT AND THEY SHAVE IT OFF BECAUSE IT'S SO OBVIOUS and people keep poking fun at them about it

chelshock: i bet anan`s execs were so mad! they paid for sexy chest hair!

greatfountain: so, so mad. jun isn't apologetic in the least XD

chelshock: "it`s your own fault, really. this is what you get when you cross me"

chelshock: with a terrible glare on his face

greatfountain: "but jun aiba made fun of age causing falling testosterone levels and kimutaku asked if i wanted nakai's anti-balding creme! ;_;"

chelshock: "did you tell them what really happened? because i`ve been telling EVERYONE"

greatfountain: "NO I CAN'T THEY'LL MAKE EVEN MORE FUN OF ME"

chelshock: the next week, nagase`s spot in the ldk dressing room is plastered with photos of himself from the shoot with ridiculous curly chest hair doodled on.

chelshock: "feel better soon~ < TOKIO"

greatfountain: nino sends out the photoshopped versions of matsujun's via email. nippon sports runs an article about it XD

chelshock: ahaha oh nino. he`s really on no one`s side.

chelshock: he goes where the lulz take him!

greatfountain: he's on his own! and his own involves hilarity. for him.

chelshock: that was probably his motivation for hooking jun and nagase up in the first place. personal lulz.

greatfountain: eventually the chest hair grows back and nagase walks around without a shirt on for like a week

chelshock: SO PROUD OF HIMSELF

greatfountain: (he wears a bib for meals)

greatfountain: OF COURSE IT WAS. that and trolling matsujun.

chelshock: but ew. ewwwwww there`s that span of time where it`s all scratchy and short and jun refuses to sleep in the same bed.

greatfountain: ewww XD

chelshock: (which is to say jun gets the bed and nagase gets the couch)

greatfountain: (of course! nagase sadfaces, especially when the puppy decides it hates nagase's scratchy chest and hangs out in matsujun's perm instead)

chelshock: ahhh the puppy is also fickle. a perfect mix of both of them!

greatfountain: only when it comes to scratchy chest hair versus fluffy head hair! once it grows back nagase gets the love back. he's like the samson of japan.

chelshock: ahaha exactly! everyone forgets about that dark, dark time as soon as it`s restored to its former glory

greatfountain: thankfully for nagase, who still recalls it on the darkest nights with shame

chelshock: it`s what keeps him up some nights! jun just thinks it`s gas.

greatfountain: which admittedly is usually the problem...

chelshock: it`s not a stretch, really!

chelshock: it`s what keeps JUN up, at least. :|

greatfountain: jun is usually good about hiding his own bouts with gas, but the one time he farts in bed nagase pounces on it lD;;

chelshock: "I FELT THAT JUN EWWWW YOU`RE SO WARM AND SMELLY HOW DOES IT FEEL PEEE-YEWWWW"

greatfountain: oh god jun would murder him, but it would be so worth it

chelshock: he might never have a chance like this again!

greatfountain: yessss

chelshock: until he wakes up with half of his majestic beard shaved off

greatfountain: he cries for days as he shaves it off

greatfountain: er

greatfountain: after he shaves it off, i mean.

chelshock: ahaha or during!

chelshock: jun pretends that they`re going to have ~kinky bondage time~ and then just shaves the beard

greatfountain: nagase sobs and sobs and threatens to leave him for like nino or something but jun just laughs at him <

chelshock: "for like nino or something" ahaha that`s probably nagase`s exact words

greatfountain: definitely!

greatfountain: "as if nino is enough man for you!"

greatfountain: "wait did you just call yourself manly enough for me?"

greatfountain: "who's doing the beard shaving here?"

chelshock: nagase shuts his mouth about how much man jun may or may not be since he`s not really in a position to criticize

chelshock: ahaha EXACTLY

greatfountain: yeah, he does not want to be stripped of both his beard and his chest mane so he shuts up quite quickly XD

chelshock: ahaha omg chest mane

greatfountain: you know that's how he talks about it lD;; "my glorious chest mane looks awesome today!"

chelshock: and then combs it a little. maybe pats it down and makes jun run his fingers through it.

greatfountain: lol he takes to asking jun to trim it after it becomes obvious he cares more about IT than the hair on his head

greatfountain: since when he asked the hairdresser to do it she fainted

chelshock: it was too much for her!

greatfountain: indeed! nagase's naked chest?!

chelshock: HOW COULD IT NOT BE

chelshock: jun rolls his eyes and does his best.

greatfountain: if he cuts it a little too short here or there nagase doesn't mention it, just offers to trim jun's, which ends in snuggling instead

chelshock: ahaha oh god does jun even HAVE chest hair?

greatfountain: i hope not, if would kill my mental images ): nagase pretends he does, though

greatfountain: especially after the shukudai-kun episode

greatfountain: it's their ~thing~

chelshock: awwww like with baby scissors!

greatfountain: :

chelshock: SO CUTE

chelshock: he even makes little snipping noises

greatfountain: OH NAGASE <

greatfountain: yesss

chelshock: "damn jun, you`ve really let this go!" etc

greatfountain: jun has to bite his tongue to keep from laughing and getting himself stabbed in the chest again

chelshock: omg AGAIN

chelshock: which is why they switched to the safety scissors

greatfountain: thankfully, there were awkward questions for costuming

chelshock: jun gets put on some sort of self-harm watch. "we know it`s tough being you, but you don`t have to go around trying to stab your heart out!"

greatfountain: jun wants to stab himself after that, of course. nagase tries to smooth it over with a "oh, it was just special time!" which only makes it WORSE and julie threatens to kill him

chelshock: AHAHA OMG SPECIAL TIME. the flowery language is what makes it worse.

chelshock: but nagase`s just trying to be delicate :-(

greatfountain: "what else do you do during special time, naga-nii?"

greatfountain: poor nagase ):

greatfountain: he felt terrible about the scratch on jun's chest!

chelshock: nagase ALMOST starts talking about special time in detail but then he looks over at jun giving him the coldest stare ever.

greatfountain: and he snaps his mouth shut. doesn't stop nino from trying to get it out of him, of course, but jun threaten to CANCEL special time so.

chelshock: jun`s not about to give nino ANY fodder

greatfountain: damn right he's not, nino's smug enough